The Art of Being A COMPLETE FUCKING ASSHOLE: The definition of a total piece of shit, an employee who does the job of a student worker, has terrible hygiene, talks shit about everyone she works with, is a rat, borrows money, always wants people to do her favors and then shits on them, won't answer phones, or learn essential job tasks, bitches constantly. Basically, God's Cancer, a person who is such a bitch, so wretched at her core that Jesus Christ would spit in her face.
You are too lazy to take notes or even read the ones that have been typed for you. You don't listen when people speak to you because you can't repeat back what has just been spoken to you! You do not think for yourself. You have to be told how to do everything. You think it is perfectly acceptable to interrupt me every five minutes or to inspect my lunch everyday. You talk incessantly about NOTHING. How the f*** am I supposed to get any work done? Please go find another job.
What a miserable phoney you are! Not only do you not do shit all day, your loud, non-stop complaining makes me want to hang myself. I get the shivers just looking at your creepy evil face when you walk by. And don't try to make small-talk with me! That shit may work with your old-biddy pal and spineless boss, but it's not fooling me, even for a second. Basically, you're worthless, and shut your trap - nobody cares what you have to say!
Stop being presumptuous and think I like the music that you turn up too loud. The foot tapping is obnoxious. And when you sing the bass lines you sound like a total dork! Stop thinking out loud. Stop being a douche bag and respect other people's environments who are actually trying to get their job done!
You come in at least 20 minutes late every single day, get your lazy ass out of bed and get here on time, its work, you are supposed to be a responsible adult and get to work on time. Then you sit at your desk and eat breakfast and check your myspace for another 30 minutes. Its rather annoying hearing you crunch on your cereal, or bagel. Then we all have to sit and listen to you bitch about your husbands sisters boyfriends moms cousins shit!!! Enough is enough!
I'm so sick of your dumb ass! Your never @ your desk, you pretend that your on the phone to avoid picking it up. You call yourself a manager, yet the only thing you manage is lunch! Oh and just because your boyfriend works here, that doesn't give you a reason to go running to the back to "ask him a question" every 5 minutes. Damnit you live with him, do you really have to follow his ass around like a puppy all day? The only reason he is w/u is because you got pregnant and the rent is free!
You have only been there for 2 months and you think you can just come in and take over. You think you can tell everyone what to do. I am above you so you have no right to try and tell me what to do. I will never listen to you or let you tell me what to do. You're not in charge. Stop acting like you are.
To the co-worker who proceeded to storm up to my desk and spit a loud "SHHH!!!" in my face, whilst I was clearly on the phone, a polite "Would you mind speaking a little quieter next time?" will suffice! Just cos you sit there all day like a stunned mullet, doesnt mean I should have to! If you can't handle hearing people talk in an open plan office, perhaps go & find yourself a nice, deep, dark hole to fall into. We sure wouldn't miss you, your "SHHH!!!" or your spit for that matter!
So you're BFF's with the boss lady, huh? Good for you, but this level of unfairness MUST come to an end. Why is it fair for you to leave early every other day and go for 45 minute smoke breaks without telling anyone? (Which, btw, should you REALLY be smoking when you annoy the rest of us with your phlegm ridden, vomit inducing cough?) Just don't brag to the rest of us when you get to leave early because you can share trailer trash stories with her at the bar after work.